Page 12 shop online at www.broadcasteronline.com December 7, 2010 LAURA ON LIFE Mortification Meter Kids have no shame. It is the only possible reason why a fourth grader can “bust a grumpy” while sitting at the dining table, and then laugh uproariously when everyone gags and runs for cover. So why don’t kids have any shame? Well, it’s not precisely that they have no shame, because they do tend to be embarrassed about things they shouldn’t be. For example, they are embarrassed when their parent says something nice about them. “My son just won MVP of his Pee Wee league.” “Mo-om! Why do you have to tell people that?” I think it’s fair to say that most kids have a broken Mortification Meter and the manual for this particular de- vice has gone missing. If the meter was broken in the ON position, where everything was humiliating, parents could work it out with confidence-building tapes, a few months of therapy, and possibly shock treatment. If it was broken in the OFF position, nothing at all would faze the child and life would be good for him. That would not keep you from being mortified, though, when he did something for which he should be embarrassed. No, the child’s Mortification Meter is not stuck in the On or Off position. It was turned upside down, shaken (not stirred) like an Etch-a-Sketch and dropped into a fish tank… with water… and fish. Now it’s just screwed up. DAKOTA STEEL INC. Here is a scenario that is probably somewhat familiar to anyone who has ever had children. We went out for dinner which, nowadays, is merely a way to showcase our kids’ eccentric behavior to the rest of the world. My nine-year old went to the salad bar and brought back, not a salad, but a plate that had little piles of fixings stacked on it. There was a pile of sunflower seeds, a pile of croutons, a pile of raisins, a pile of cheese and a stack of saltine crackers. He hit every food group – I was okay with it. He grabbed a pinch of cheese between a thumb and forefinger, raised it above his head, and dropped it into his open mouth. I was not okay with that. I swear I did not teach him that. I told him to use a fork. He picked up his fork and used it to smash his crackers into Laura Snyder his raisins. I told him, “No more crackersmashing.” He began sucking his sunflower seeds through his straw. I snatched the straw away from him and he looked at me as if I had grown two heads. Just so we’re clear, I did not teach him any of that and… I did not then, nor have I ever, had two heads. Suddenly, blue lights outside the restaurant caught the boy’s attention. He pointed and yelled “Police!” in the same voice one would FACTO R DIRECT Y Call for Prices. “We Roll Our Own Steel For You We’ll Roll You a Deal” Bottom Dollar • Factory Direct • Wholesale Prices Post Frame Building Packages or Steel Sheeting 605-987-9080 • 605-987-4306 fax First Lots Scheduled to Close at 10:00 AM Central Time www.bigiron.com NO BUYERS PREMIUM FEE & NO RESERVES!! The following equipment is owned by various owners, visit www.bigiron.com for owner names, items locations and phone numbers. EXCAVATORS: 06 Cat 320C L Excavator, 1540.4 Hrs Showing; 05 Cat 308C CR 18,000 Lb. Hydr Excavator, 678.8 Hrs Showing; Cat 322 Excavator, 7899 Hrs Showing; 88 Case 688 Excavator, 4949 Hrs Showing. TRACK LOADERS: Cat 943 Track Loader, 8117 Hrs Showing; 80 JD 755 Track Loader, 6000 Total Hrs. DOZERS: 06 Cat D5G XL Dozer, 1924.5 Hrs Showing; 05 Cat D5N XL Dozer, 2739.1 Hrs Showing; 75 JD 555 Dozer, 3824 Hrs Showing. WHEEL LOADERS: 96 Cat 928F Wheel Loader, Approx 8800 Hrs; 77 JD 544-B Payloader, 9156 Hrs Showing; JD 444E Wheel Loader, 8953.4 Hrs Showing. CRANE: Galion 8 T Crane. TRACTORS: 03 Kubota BX22MLB 4WD Tractor; 00 Kubota L4310 MFWD Tractor; JD 700 / 5020 Industrial Tractor. TRUCKS & TRAILER: 03 Kenworth T300 Daycab Single Axle Semi Truck; 96 Volvo WG64T Daycab Tandem Axle Semi Truck Tractor; 04 Ford F550 XLT Super Duty Single Axle Dump Truck; 99 International 9100 Dump Truck; 99 International 9400 Truck/Tractor; 91 Kenworth T-800 Digger Truck, Reach-All Digger; 97 Freightliner Century Classic Semi Truck Tractor; 78 GMC Pump Truck; 05 Trail King TK50-4300 25 Ton 5th Wheel Single Drop Lowboy Trailer; 05 Travis T102 Frameless Aluminum 26’ Dump Trailer; 07 Towmaster T-14DD Tandem Axle Trailer; 03 Lufkin 53’ Drop Deck Flatbed Trailer. TRENCHERS: 02 Ditch Witch RT115 Trencher, 1431 Hrs Showing; Ditch Witch 6150 Trencher; Ditch Witch 7610 W/Backhoe & Front Blade. MOTORGRADER: Cat 12E Motor Grader. SKIDSTEER: 03 Cat 277B Skid Steer, 1126.7 Hrs Showing. SCREENER: 02 Thomas Proscreen 400 Double Deck Screener, 1142 Hrs Showing. SKID STEER ATTACHMENTS: 07 Cat A19B Auger; 04 Cat SG16B Stump Grinder; 05 Cat CV18B Vibratory Smooth Drum Compactor. LIFT: 98 Grove AMZ86XT Manlift, 4541 Hrs Showing. The next Big Iron auction is on December 22!! www.bigiron.com is a division of Stock Auction Company, 1-800-937-3558 Laura Snyder is a nationally syndicated columnist, author & speaker. You can reach Laura at lsnyder@lauraonlife.com Or visit her website www.lauraonlife.com for more info. BROADCASTER 201 W. Cherry • Vermillion 624-4429 THE TROPHY PLACE We Sell NO SMOKING Signs •Trophies •Plaques • Ribbons •Engraving •Corporate Awards •Photo Gifts UNRESERVED AUCTION ONLINE INTERNET ONLY Wednesday, December 15, 2010 stall number 3. I offered him my jacket but – and I’m not kidding, here – he said, “I can’t wear that. It’s pink. I would be so embarrassed!” …A clear case of a broken Mortification Meter. I believe this defect occurs in adults as well. When we were finally making our getaway (it couldn’t have happened soon enough), an older lady at the table next to us pulled my husband aside to tell him what well-behaved children we have. I tried to imagine what on earth her kids must’ve been like! Then I decided that her kids were probably no different from mine. It’s simply that her Mortification Meter had sustained collateral damage. Looking for the best deal in town? Check the classifieds! Canton, SD ! ! ! STEEL FACTORY ! ! ! • 29 Guage Steel • High Quality 100,000 P.S.I. Tensile Strength • Cut to length from 1”- 60 ft. • .0155 mill thickness before paint • .017 mill nominal thickness after paint • 40-year paint warranty use if one grew marijuana in one’s basement. While other patrons stared at us, I tried to shush him by quietly telling him that the officer was giving a man a ticket, probably for speeding. Sometimes if you talk quietly, the child will match your voice. Eyes wide, still staring out the window, he announced at 20 decibels, or however many decibels is really, really loud, “I gotta pee!” and made a mad dash for the restroom. I put my sunglasses on, hoping that the staff would not recognize me the next time we dined there – which, I was sure, would not happen until the year two-thousand-andnever. When my shameless child returned, he was rubbing his arms and shivering as if he had just driven his Huskies across the Alaskan tundra. Perhaps there was a portal to Siberia in 605-665-5192 • 802 Broadway, Yankton, SD 57078 Check us out at www.thetrophyplace.net Pre-Christmas 2-Day Farm Toy & Literature Auction Friday December 10th, 5:00 p.m. & Saturday December 11th, 10:00 a.m. Located: Wakonda Legion Hall, Wakonda, SD Friday evening’s auction: Outstanding Estate collection of Farm Literature sent to us from Europe! Exceptionally clean John Deere, IH, Oliver, AC, Ford, Case & More sales literature. Also collection of good, old Watch Fobs. Saturday’s Auction: 500+ Farm Toys. Includes 4-wheel drives, all makes of Farm Toys— John Deere, IH, CaseIH, & More. Also a collection of Fire Trucks & Fire Fighter related collectables. Large early bird auction at 9:30 a.m. If you are looking for a special TOY TRACTOR for Christmas, give us a call, we can help! Happy Holidays! Come and join us for soup, sandwiches & treats as a way of saying thank-you to all our great bidders throughout the year! Live Internet Bidding available both days! G irard Auction & Land Brokers, Inc. (605) 267-2421 www.GirardAuction.com Toll Free: 1-866-531-6186 Marv Girard, BA #12399; Ken Girard, CAI, AARE Broker #10183; Mike Girard BA #13549 Rentt base on income, utilities included. e n , s rent@apcmanagement.com Call 1-800-545-5307, or Deb at 605.202.0063. Equal Housing Opportunity. A17459 16 Days ‘Til Christmas AUCTION Antique Furniture - Collectibles - BARBIES Thursday, Dec. 9, 2010 @ 5:59 PM Gurney’s Landing, 2nd & Capitol, Yankton, SD Antique Furniture 2 antique Dining Room Sets, Library Card File, China Cabinet and more. Family From Adrian, Minnesota This will be a very interesting Auction. 30+ Barbies and Barbie Items including HOLIDAY BARBIES (1997, 1996 and 1995); Two Porcelain Dolls (one still in the Mattel Box - unopened), BARBIE Wrapping Paper, Redemption Certificates, Key Chain, ‘95 and ‘96 Holiday BARBIE Plates, ‘96 BARBIE Holiday Ornament, HALLMARK Christmas Ornaments from STAR TREK (Spock, Captain Kirk, Captain Picard), Jerry Rice Ceramic (NFL Licenses w/Box), TOY RACE CARS 1/64 Scale Indy Cars (Andretti, Unser Jr., Boesel, Pruitt, Gordon, Yasser, including World of Outlaws Danny Lososki, MICRO Machines Next Generation, Original STAR TREK, STAR TREK The Movies, Captain Kirk Doll and Accessories, AVON BARBIES (Black and White), Emerald Elegance BARBIE, Tropical Splash BARBIE, Pretty Hearts BARBIE, Sparkle Beach BARBIE, AVON Spring Blossom BARBIE. ALADDIN Series Disney Dolls, and more! Phyllis Carr, Owner Fire King Dishes (Yellow, White, Blue and Red); Face Powder Boxes, 2 Small Clocks, AVON Decanter, Double and Single Razor Blades and Shaver, Scotland, SD Plate, Commercial Ash Trays from Pierre (THE FALCON, CHUCKWAGON, etc.), Reflective Pictures, Porcelain Cups, Brush/Shoehorn Set, Baby A&W Root Beer Mugs (Plastic and Glass), 1981 Sear & Roebuck Cup, Salt & Pepper Shakers, Copper Pot, Cast Roman Chariot w/Horses, OLD LUNCH BOXES, Stuffed Toys in Boxes, Lots of PEANUTS Memorabilia! Dennis The Menace Books, Battery Operated Doll, Dairy Queen Cream Can. TERMS: CASH OR BANKABLE CHECK Jim Payne Auctioneer 605-760-0734 1-877-827-4747 Phone/CELL: Toll Free: 214 Capital ST • Suite 8 • Yankton SD 57078 jimpayneauctioneer@hotmail.com