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February 8, 2011
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LAURA ON LIFE
The dishwasher wins but Hawaii ain’t bad
I was sitting in my
living room the other
day within earshot of
my dishwasher. I was
thinking “Isn’t it nice to
hear the sound of my
work being done for
me?”
Well, I had to load
the dishwasher, but
then it said “Let me
take it from here, so
you can go relax.”
I was dreaming, of
course. I will never
hear those words except in my dreams.
I have accustomed
myself to that fate, but
it doesn’t mean I can’t
wish for a break now
and then.
In fact, there seems
to be more work to do
now, even with all the
advances in technology.
Those advances have
made it possible to get
a task done more
quickly, so that you can
fit more tasks into your
day.
Still, a girl’s got to
prioritize. Some tasks
would necessarily fall
to the bottom of the To
Do List. For example,
when was the last time
you darned socks or
ironed bed sheets? Collectively, we have realized that socks are
considered disposable.
If they have a hole in
them, it takes much
less time and effort to
go buy another pair
rather than wasting
precious time trying to
darn them. As for ironing bed sheets? Really?
Of course, one could
argue that while I was
sitting in my living
room, letting the dishwasher do my work, I
could have been darning socks. However, I
would advise all lifetime volunteers to draw
the line somewhere.
Darning socks is where
I drew mine.
As for ironing, most
of us have discovered
that if your clothes get
hung up or folded
promptly after drying,
ironing is not necessary. Besides, as a nation,
we
have
apparently decided that
a few wrinkles are acceptable, and sometimes even desired.
When the fashion
world declared that
wrinkles
were
in,
women
everywhere
wryly noted that after
high heels, panty hose,
mini-skirts and thong
underwear, the world finally got something
right.
With regard to thong
underwear, I’d rather
have panty lines, but
don’t get me started…
I digress… (but with
good reason!)
Anyway, it’s clear to
me that there is a man
in charge of doing the
research and development on household appliances. I know this
because a women still
has to push a vacuum
around the house. A
man can ride around
the backyard on a garden tractor to cut the
grass and he’ll call it
work.
With today’s open
floor plans, it should be
possible to build a
house tractor that we
can ride around the
house. It could pick up
everything in its path
and sort it: toys, socks,
trash, remote controls,
food.
Then you could
Laura Snyder
simply drive to the appropriate drop zone:
closet, toy box, trash
can… and deposit your
load.
For every job men do,
they have a machine
that does it for them.
There are machines for
digging a hole, nailing,
screwing, sawing, cutting trees, trimming
bushes, you name it.
Yet, we’re still pushing
a broom and mop
around the kitchen
floor. We’re still folding
every article of clothing
in the house. We’re still
manually
removing
dust from our furniture. We’re still digging
crumbs out from beneath our sofa cushions.
What we need is
some women on the R
& D team. Unfortunately, most of us are
too busy sweeping,
mopping, folding, and
dusting to have any
time for tinkering. It’s
a Catch 22.
My husband seems
to have plenty of time
for tinkering, as well as
channel surfing and exploring the Internet.
He has never invented
a miracle machine to
make household chores
any easier. In fact, he is
the chief producer of
many of the things I
have to pick up every
day.
However, as he was
wandering around the
Internet the other day,
he discovered that we
have 200,000 frequent
flier miles; enough for a
trip to Hawaii for all of
us.
While I swept the
kitchen floor for the
bazillionth time, he did
the research which, in
all honesty, took much
longer than sweeping
the floor. While I folded
a mountain of laundry,
he booked our tickets.
While I wiped spots off
bathroom faucets, he
reserved a small house
on the beach for us.
He has not quite
achieved the “Do My
Work For Me Award”
like my beloved dishwasher, but tickets to
Hawaii does feel a lot
like “Let me take it
from here, so you can go
relax.”
Laura Snyder is a nationally
syndicated columnist, author &
speaker. You can reach Laura at
lsnyder@lauraonlife.com Or visit
her website www.lauraonlife.com
for more info.
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