July 19, 2011 shop online at www.broadcasteronline.com Page 11 LAURA ON LIFE 1605 It’s All In The Words You would think that, having a mother who is a writer, my children would be fairly competent when it comes to the English language. Spelling, grammar and vocabulary should be strengths for them because I correct them, constantly. “Son, ‘He ain’t got no brains or nothing’ is not the correct way to say that your brother is an idiot…” This tests not only my own English saavy, but also my parenting skills. Should I correct the insult to his brother or the insult to the English language? Though triple negatives make me cringe into my turtleneck, personal insults are just plain unacceptable. However, trying to dissect the statement to determine whether it was indeed an insult hurts my brain. The intent was obvious, but until I decide whether it was truly an insult, I can only correct the sentence. My daughter has an interesting grasp of vocabulary. I’m almost certain it’s not English vocabulary, though. We were driving in my car. She suddenly sat up with a big smile and asked if we could Laura Snyder go for ice cream. I told her that I’m on a diet. She de?ated like a balloon. I told we could go to a place that had sugar-free ice cream. She rein?ated… then she laughed. “I’m bilateral, aren’t I?” she asked. “I’m afraid I don’t see the connection,” I said, puzzled. “You know, I switch moods very fast.” “Do you mean bipolar?” I asked. “Oh yeah,” she said. “Bilateral means you can speak two languages, right?” “Nope.” I smiled. “That’s bilingual.” “Oh, phooey!” she sighed. “If it’s any consolation,” I said, “you probably are bilingual. I just don’t know what the other language is.” My fourteen-year old has an obsession with the words always, never, all and none. He rarely means these words, but exaggeration sounds better to him. “All the kids in middle school took drugs,” he said. He was trying to impress upon me the dangers of public school. I knew his intention, but I couldn’t let it go without correcting him. “You mean to say that some or a few kids in middle school took drugs, right?” “No, all of them did,” he said. “Were you in middle school?” “Yeeeessss,” he said, rolling his eyes. “And did you take drugs?” “No! Do I look stupid?” “Then ALL the kids did not take drugs, right? Maybe you knew a lot that did?” “That’s what I said!” “No, that’s what you meant.” …And the endless loop of teenage conversation goes on… My youngest boy is a selectively good speller. I noticed a sign on his bedroom door the other day. It was attached to the door with 700 bits of masking tape. The sign read: DO NOT ENTER MY ROOM WITHOUT MY PERMISHON. Then he drew skull www.broadcasteronline.com +/- 5.8 acres with 5 bedroom, 2 story home, 2 car garage, sheds AT AUCTION Tuesday, August 9th, 3 pm Real Estate sells first with personal property to follow Located: From Yankton Walmart: 6 miles North on Hwy 81, 6 miles East on 303rd street, 2 1/2 miles North on 446th Avenue OR from Volin: 4 miles West, 4 1/2 miles North OR from Irene: 6 miles West, 3 1/2 miles Sout 30074 446th Avenue Open House: Tract I Annabelle’s Addition, SW1/4 Sec 19-95-54, Yankton County, South Dakota The main floor plan of this home consists of bedroom with closet, full bath, kitchen with cabinets, dining room, large living room and utility room. The 2nd floor has 4 bedrooms plus storage area. Home has central air, propane furnace, electric hot water heater. In the last 10-12 years home has new vinyl siding, asphalt shingles and aluminum storm windows. Home is hooked to rural water system and has a partial basement. Total living area is 1652 sq ft. Also on this property is a 24’x24’ unattached garage with cement floor built 10 yr ago. There is a tin 60x28x12 machine shed plus other out buildings. This is a very nice kept home with lots of space for garden and animals. The property is located on a good hard surfaced road just minutes from Yankton and for the sportsman only 1 mile West of Marindahl Dam where there is good fishing and hunting. Make your plans to attend the open house. Watch upcoming papers for the personal property listing. For more photos, go to GirardAuction.com. Terms: $15,000 nonrefundable down payment due day of auction with balance due on closing of September 9, 2011. Title insurance and closing costs split 50/50 between buyer & seller. Possession on closing. Yankton County Title Company is the closing agent. Auctioneers are acting as agents for the seller. Annabelle Johnson Trust - Owner Girard Auction & Land Brokers, Inc. (605) 267-2421 Toll Free: 1-866-531-6186 www.GirardAuction.com Marv Girard, BA #12399; Ken Girard, CAI, AARE Broker #10183; Mike Girard, CAI, BA #13549 Apartments For Rent For Rent in Vermillion: 2-3 BR Apts in quiet neighborhood. $500-$550 plus utilities. 1-1/2 baths. Central air. Coin laundry. Available July-August. (605)670-4710. and crossbones and wrote underneath: INSTANTANEOUS DEATH! I was very impressed with his correct spelling of “instantaneous” even though he mangled “permission.” I would have chastised him for threatening the members of our household with their certain and immediate demise, but reading further, I realized that perhaps his de?nition of “instantaneous death” wasn’t the same as mine. On a small scrap of paper taped under the ?rst, he wrote a disclaimer. As I read, I realized that, for my son, “Instantaneous Death” apparently means “$10 or you have to do my chores for a week.” No wonder he acts like he’s dying when I ask him to clean his room. 1615 Houses For Rent For Rent: 3-Bedroom home. New interior paint, new floor coverings. $695/mo. No pets please. Call (605)202-0223. For Rent: 4-Bed, 2-Bath House, garages, includes all applicances, 1.5 blocks from Med School. (605)624-3859 House for rent/sale: 5-bedroom, 3-bath, single car garage. Location Crofton, NE. Call (402)334-7387 or (402)670-8404. 1625 Mobile Homes For Rent 1635 Commercial Rentals 2200 sq. ft. commercial building for rent. (Formally daycare). Full-kitchen, 2-bathrooms. Negotiable lease. Call Larry at (605)661-0987 1650 Houses For Sale Available Now 2-4 Bedroom Homes Take Over Payments No Money Down No Credit Check Call Now 1-866-343-4134 nani House for Sale at 204 12th St, Vermillion. $6500 Cash, needs repair. Call (605)624-8364. 1655 Mobile Homes For Sale Mobile Home for Sale in Vemrillion. Updated, 2-bedroom, 1-Bath, washer/dryer, dishwasher, 2-A/C units, great neighborhood. $6,000. Call (402)677-0844. For Rent: 3-bedroom, 2-bath MH in Vermillion. Large lot. Washer/Dryer, dishwasher. Some pets OK. $625.00 (605)659-5883. Tell them you saw it in the Broadcaster! Call Classifieds Vermillion, SD 624-4429 624-4429 PRECISION PAINTING A17407 INTERIOR • EXTERIOR COMMERCIAL • RESIDENTIAL Quality Workmanship, Reasonable Rates Since 1983 CLINT TUCKER • 624-4621 Laura Snyder is a nationally syndicated columnist, author & speaker. You can reach Laura at lsnyder@lauraonlife.com Or visit her website www.lauraonlife.com for more info. Verne and Bonnie Anderson Trust Auction Saturday July 23, 10:30am Located at 4H Building & Bus Barn 515 High Street Vermillion, SD • Lunched will be served Auctioneers Note: The members of this family were collectors with a wide range of interests appreciated fine quality antique items. They accumulated a vast variety of really nice and hard-to-find items. You will appreciate the quality and condition of the offering . Antiques and Collectibles: 50-75 arrow heads, Chamber pots, wood & leather trunks, cast iron griddles, sewing cabinet, rocking chair, hand-made quilts, kitchen tools, secretary, many tobacco tins in great shape, sewing machine, toys and games, wooden sled, bird cage, many collectible tins/boxes, dressers, oil lamps, glass enclosed bookcase, vanity dresser w/mirror, bathroom scale, glassware a large variety, glass serving trays and bowls, lg collection of green depression glassware, fishing lures, reels and equipment, kitchen scale, crocks, square oak end table, oak wall phone, school desk, 3 drawer dresser with mirror, secretary with rounded glass & mirror, kitchen hutch, oak headboard, stove heater Furniture: Tiger Round oak table & 5 chairs, 2 bedroom sets, several dressers, dining set, occasional chairs and tables, sewing cabinets, lamps, rugs, cabinet, sm bookshelf, filing cabinets 4 drawer & 3 drawer, magazine rack, white dresser, desk, oak headboards, 6 drawer cabinet, oak chairs, drop leaf table & chairs, vase table, recliner, foot pedal sewing machine, oak foot stool, 6 drawer oak thread cabinet, 4 dressers, kitchen table, wicker set. Guns : Colt automatic cal. .380 hammerless pistol with clip, automatic (buffalo) 7.65 pistol with clip Tools: Skill saw, drills, power cords, wrenches, weed eater, yard tools, wooden trunk, 5ft step ladder, variety of tools too numerous to mention. Specialty items: Air guard patches, tags, belts & uniforms; well preserved military uniforms, patches, medals, belt buckle including military outerwear –WWII memorabilia – dog tags, ration booklets, pins, maps, canteens, lunch pail; large collection of match boxes, tins, & chocolate boxes –most very old but very well preserved; international stamp collection, international coin collection, books from a combination of a number of family members including Arthur Haines, former USD professor; School textbooks from the early 1900’s, collection of clocks and time pieces; Airmap GPS system; bottle collection; 2 railroad lanterns, sewing notions Local History items : Memorabilia from USD, Vermillion High School, Akron High School, the town of Vermillion, Union & Clay counties Collection includes photo albums, jewelry, photographs, postcards and other school related items. Household & Misc items : Dishes, Nice Cannon camera with case, pots & pans, large collection of cups and saucers – many very old, horse blanket, cookbooks, serving platters, baskets sets, plant stand. Redwing crock #3, crystal servers, brass teapot, brass warmer, 8 crocks, fruit jars, glasses, oversized upright freezer, microwave TERMS & CONDITIONS: Cash. Sales Tax will be collected on all relative items, Drivers license or positive ID required for buyers number. All descriptions believed accurate, although not guaranteed. All property is sold “AS IS” Without warranty of any kind. No property removed without payment in full. Must be 21 to purchase any firearms or ammunition. Announcements made auction day will supersede any advertisements of previous representations. Not responsible for accidents or theft, Auction Co. and Sellers not responsible for printing errors. Dakota Realty Hazen Bye, Auctioneer 605-624-4474 Madsen Auction Service Gary Madsen 605-638-0643 & Jim Brady 605-670-9638, Auctioneers