July 19, 2011 shop online at www.broadcasteronline.com 1850 Home Country The Not So Musical Stylings Of Three-Chord “You’re awfully quiet this morning, Steve,” Dud said to his buddy, the cowboy with the haystack mustache. “No sleep,” Steve mumbled, his chin propped on his hands. The other members of the Mule Barn truck stop’s world dilemma think tank smelled an issue and were instantly alert. You can’t save the world if you don’t have an issue. “You guys watching too much late night TV out in the bunkhouse?” Doc asked. “I wish we had,” Steve said. “It’s just that dadgummed ThreeChord Cortez.” Three-Chord was known far and wide for his exuberant incompetence with a guitar. Steve’s boss hires ThreeChord and some others to help on special occasions. “His guitar playing is terrible,” Steve explained, taking a sip of coffee, “but now it’s worse … way worse!” “How could anything be worse than ThreeChord Cortez’s guitar playing?” Dud said. Steve looked up. “He’s singing now!” There was a deadly hush as the members of the supreme court of darn-near everything took that in. 1815 Reach over 28 million homes with one ad buy! Only $2,795 per week! For more information, contact this publication or go to www.naninetwork.com nani SELL/RENT YOUR TIMESHARE FOR CASH!!! Our Guaranteed Services will Sell/Rent Your Unused Timeshare for CASH! Over $95 Million Dollars offered in 2010! www.buyatimeshare.com Call 888-879-8612. nani STEEL BUILDINGS: 6 only 20x20, 25x36, 30x40, 40x54, 50x104, 60x140. Must Move Now! Selling for Balance Owed! Still Crated/ Free Delivery! 1-800-411-5869 x176 (MCN) STEEL CULVERTS FOR SALE: New, All sizes. (605)661-5050 or (605)387-5660. Ulmer Farm Service, Menno, SD. Mobile/Delvac diesel 1300-15-40 WT, $12.08/gallon in 55-gallon factory filled barrels, (402)649-6711. WE HAVE SEVERAL CREW OF BEAN WALKERS. We also do any farm work including cutting Canadian thistles. We have 19 years experience. We can go a 100 miles radius of Vermillion/Yankton. For more information call (712)943-2084. 1855 Alfalfa - Hay Wanted to Buy: Rye. Will take up to 21% moisture. Have trucks, (402)485-2271. Call collect for bids. Clearwater Feed and Grain. 1870 Ag Equipment 1870 1-Used 2002 T&L pivot, 1-Used 1978 Reinke pivot, 8-tower, new updates; 1-Used 1978 Zimmatic pivot, good condition; 1-Used Valley pivot, near Central City, NE, 8”x20” aluminum gated pipe. Call (308)946-3396. Buying older farm equipment and clean up farms for iron. Paying top dollar. (402)750-4309. MANTIS TILLER. Buy DIRECT from Mantis and we’ll include Border Edger attachment & kickstand! Lightweight, Powerful! Call for a FREE DVD and Information Kit 888-443-6671 (MCN) “Not good?” Doc asked, quietly. “Not good? Oh dear Aunt Sadie’s chrome corset!” Steve replied. “It’s like … dragging a milk can along on pavement. It’s like removing a guy’s appendix without anesthetic. It’s like …” “We get the picture,” Dud said. “The worst of it is… I mean the worst… is that he doesn’t know any songs. Not a one. I mean … none. All he knows is one phrase of one song and he sings it over and over and over and he thinks he’s the Sons of the Pioneers. He tells us this phrase is a sure-?re way to get women interested in you. You serenade them from the front lawn and the lovely lady immediately invites you in for coffee and snickerdoodles.” “So what’s the phrase?” asked Dewey, who sensed a new dating tool at hand. Steve looked from one to the other. “I’ll give it to you just the way he gave it to us.” “You don’t know what lonesome is, ‘til you start herdin’ co-o-o-o-o-o-ows!” Steve took that last note up into a coyote howl and people were holding their ears and trying to quiet crying children. “See what I mean?” Steve said. Nods all around. Doc drew himself up. “I think the girls ask Three-Chord in just to keep the neighbors from calling the dog pound.” Wanted To Buy: JD 7720, 6620, 6600, 4420, 4400 combines; Also flexheads & cornheads, (402)920-2125. 1875 Livestock - Poultry Black Simmental and Angus 2yr. old and yearling bulls for sale. Top quality, reasonable. Rick Wetovick, Fullerton, 308-536-2901, cell 308-550-0628. Call Classifieds 624-4429 ———— Brought to you by Slim’s new book “A Cowboy’s Guide to Growing Up Right.” Learn more at http://www.nmsantos.com/Slim/Slim.html. Christmas in July at The Farm July 30th • 10am–4pm Join us for a day of shopping from several vendors in one convenient location. • Farmhouse Chic Jewelry • Repurposed Junk & Antiques • Scentsy 31346 University Rd Vermillion-SD Saturday, 7/23/11 8am-2pm Multi Family Garage Sale: Power tools, (yard, home, pets, most new). Books, magazines, yarn, large plants, ceramic tile, house hold, Christmas, plus. Lost and Found Found Car Keys: A set of car keys w/keyless entry found at 108 Elm St. in Vermillion. Looks like they go to a Chevy vehicle. Also attached are 4 other keys that look to be house keys. Please call the Broadcaster at (605)624-4429 if these are yours. Or you can stop by our office at 201 W. Cherry St. Vermillion. & much, much more! Coyote Twin/ Vermillion624-3546 Theatre 624-3331 • HARRY POTTER AND THE DEALTHY HALLOWS PT. 2 Coyote 1 Nightly 7:00 p.m. and 9:25 p.m. Sat. & Sun. Matinees at 1:00 p.m. and 3:25 p.m. No Passes Please Coyote 2 Nightly 7:00 p.m. and 9:30 p.m. Sat. & Sun. Matinees at 1:00 p.m. and 3:30 p.m. No Passes Please - PG-13 - CAPTAIN AMERICA: THE FIRST AVENGER Vermillion Rummage Sales 1840 • Tastefully Simple • Bling–N–Fashions • Pampered Chef Directions: Elk Point Exit 18, 3 miles West to 473rd Avenue, then 1.5 miles North 32114 473rd Avenue, Elk Point, SD Call 712–212–6617 for more information - PG-13 - LARRY CROWNE Nightly 7:00 p.m. and 9:00 p.m. Sat. & Sun. Matinees at 1:00 p.m. and 3:00 p.m. - PG-13 - Please visit our new website at www.marchfilmsinc.com Call Classifieds 624-4429 YOUR RADIATOR HEADQUARTERS! Introducing the NEW NAPA Radiator Program • Great Parts • Great Warranty Cox Auto Featuring music by On-Hand & In-Stock! NO WAITING! July 21 1007 Broadway Ave. • Yankton • 665-4494 The Public Domain Tune Band - Sponsored by Hy-Vee - Hosted by the Rotary J&H Carpet Care & Cleaning Serivce August 4 605-665-2571 or 605-661-9211 August 25 Narrative Feed - Sponsored by Aramark - Hosted by Downtown Vermillion JULY SPECIAL VACATION: Bring the family! Sizzling Summer Specials at Florida's Best Beach, New Smyrna Beach. See it at www.nsbfla.com/summerspecials Or call 1-800-213-9527. (MCN) Ag Equipment Slim Randles Miscellaneous 1830 QUESTIONS ABOUT AIDS? You may be worrying needlessly. For information contact The Coalition at P.O. Box 220, Sioux Falls, SD 57101. 605-332-4599. Agriculture Page 7 Old Funk Riot - Sponsored by First Dakota National Bank, Cor-Trust, Bank of the West, First Bank & Trust and Vermillion Federal Credit Union - Hosted by United Way 2 Rooms & A Hallway ONLY $55.00 Serving Vermillion & Yankton Empty Apartment Flat Rate Pricing Weekend & Evening Appointments Available Offer good thru 7/31/11 * Beer, wine, pop and water will be available for sale. * B.Y.O.C. (Bring Your Own Chair) September 1 DJ Music - Sponsored by the VCDC and USD