6
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1815
Home Country
looked up at the many
stars.
“Nice night for neutrinos,” Bert said. His
wife, Maizie, groaned
quietly and looked for
something in her purse.
“Neutrinos, Bert?”
Doc said.
“You know what neutrinos are, of course,
Doc,” Bert said.
“I think that’s the
chess team in Fairweather, Doc,” Steve
threw in.
“You’re
wrong,
Steve,” said Mrs. Doc.
“Those are the Machismos.”
“So the neutrinos …
aren’t they dogs that
have been ?xed?”
Bert was ready to
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bust a gut. “Are you
kidding? You don’t
know what neutrinos
are? You don’t study astronomy?”
“Well, no, actually…”
Bert smiled in the
darkness. “A neutrino,”
he pronounced, “is a
sub-atomic particle. It
doesn’t have an electrical charge, and it ?ies
around at the speed of
light going through
things. The word neutrino means ‘small,
neutral one’.”
“Just like Gilbert’s
Chihuahua. He charges
around going through
things… and I’m pretty
sure he’s been neutralled.”
“I don’t know why I
even bother bringing
up these scienti?c
things,” Bert said, in
despair.
“Me neither,” said
Dud.
“You probably don’t
know about charmed
quarks, either, I’ll bet.”
“Charmed, I’m sure,”
said Steve.
Doc made wing-?apping gestures. “Quark,
quark … QUARK!”
Bert got in the car
and drove off.
Sometimes drive-by
knowledge can hurt innocent bystanders.
————
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Miscellaneous 1815
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Be Careful Of
Knowledge
If they ever give a
Nobel Prize for reading
about science, our guy
Bert Underwood would
be a shoo-in. His own
career had been strictly
non-scienti?c, but his
retirement absolutely
reeked of cutting-edge
discoveries, which he
read about and tried to
pronounce.
It was like that the
other night when the
Mule Barn closed. We
had taken our wives
down to split either a
chicken-fried steak the
size of a saddle blanket,
or a ?sh and chips large
enough to feed a cavalry regiment.
We
stepped out into the
chill of the night and
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